When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. ~ Isaiah 43:2 NKJV
3 November 2004
I dreamt: My husband and I had to cross this great massive raging river. We were standing on the bank, looking at the river, not saying a word to one another, however, we both knew that we had to jump in and swim! I was scared. The river had waves like the sea, up to my head - much bigger than us! The waters were extremely rough and it seemed impossible to swim through.
Without a word, we looked at one another and jumped!
Nearing the end and closing in on the other side, I stopped swimming to look around, and hanging in the water I was thinking that it was actually not as bad as I thought it would be. The next minute we were out of the water and sitting on a huge rock on an island. Garth was sitting slightly higher than me and with our kids on our laps he looked at me, smiling, and said: "I know now that praising G_d, and living a life for G_d, is what life is about. I now know that G_d is real." (I cannot remember his exact words but similar to that).
The next minute we were back on the mainland where we came from, and people and friends who knew us were standing there staring at Garth. Their mouths were literally hanging open! They knew it was him but he wasn't the same person. They could not even say anything because they were so surprised and shocked.
G_d was giving me a promise that my husband would come to faith and confess with his own mouth that Jesus is Lord of Lords and King of Kings!
A few days after the dream I received the following scripture:
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
I did not understand the dream or the scripture but I kept it in my heart.
I wrote the dream in my 1st ever journal on page 4, by hand, and the scripture at the bottom of that page reads:
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; for the Lord your G_d will be with you wherever you go.
~ Joshua 1:9
The amazing peace and joy I had after this dream cannot be described in words! It reminded me of another dream I had years before when I dreamt I was sitting on a huge boulder in a field of tall golden and green grass. I was alone and I remember just sitting there with a big smile on my face enjoying the beauty of the field around me. Words could not describe that feeling!
On the 3rd of November 2004, I made Psalm 51 my scripture and prayer and meditation for the next few days. I wrote in my Bible next to it 'My everyday prayer'. I had a strong stirring in my heart to live right before G_d, and I needed forgiveness and cleansing from G_d for all my past sins so that I could truly start to form a relationship with Him. I pressed in before G_d with this scripture.
The theme of this Psalm is: "David's plea for mercy, forgiveness, and cleansing. G_d wants our hearts to be right with Him."
Have mercy upon me, O G_d,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies.
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.
For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight -
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part, You will make me to know wisdom.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O G_d,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
and uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.
Whoever offers praise glorifies Me;
And to him who orders his conduct aright,
I will show the salvation of G_d.
In 2004 I was mostly reading the book of Isaiah, and specifically Isaiah 58, and I camped on it for a while. G_d also caused me to see in particular a few scriptures that He would also draw my attention to again many years later. The following are some of them, and this one on the 10th of November 2004:
Yet, hear me now, O Jacob My servant,
Thus says the Lord who made you
And formed you from the womb, who will help you:
Fear not, O Jacob My servant; [Marilyn]
And you, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen.
In my Bible, I encircled the name Jeshurun. I thought it was such a beautiful name! In my NKJV Bible the footnotes said that this was a poetic name that G_d used for Israel. This name stayed in my heart, I loved it! Jeshurun means 'the upright one'. At the time I thought it was a spiritual name that G_d gave me. I believed G_d said that He had chosen me for something. In Jeremiah 10:5 says: "they are upright, like a palm tree". Although G_d was referring to idols here; idols that had been cut out of wood, we as G_d's children should be upright like palm trees, not branching off to the left or right.
11 November 2004
I reminded G_d that just over a year ago, Garth gave his heart to the Lord, and he went to church with me a few times, but has backslidden. I asked G_d to bring him back to where he was at that time, and I opened my Bible on the following scriptures:
And he went on backsliding in the way of his heart.
I have seen his ways, and will heal him;
I will also lead him, and restore comforts to him and to his mourners.
Return, you backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings
How is this - amazing!? Only Holy Spirit can bring the scriptures to you like this!
I also asked G_d about my purpose in life. I was truly leaning in to seek His face. I felt there was something missing in my life and I was not as joyful as I should be. I was suffering from depression. I have been for many years, even since childhood, but no one knew this as I was very good at hiding it behind a smile. In front of people, I looked very happy and well but behind the scenes, my mind was flooded with emotions, pain and turmoil.
I marked a scripture in my Bible during my plea for G_d to heal me from my depression:
I will give you the treasures of darkness
And hidden riches of secret places,
That you may know that I, the Lord,
Who calls you by your name,
Am the G_d of Israel.
For Jacob My servant's sake [Marilyn]
And Israel My elect, [Jeshurun]
I have even called you by your name.
I really took the above scriptures and made them my own given to me by G_d. I wrote my name there next to Jacob and Jeshurun next to Israel, and I took that as G_d talking to me, and saying that He has called me by my name!
During these months leading up to this time, Cath shared with us her depression and how G_d suddenly healed her from it. I thought to myself 'G_d, if you could do that for Cath, then surely You could do it for me!' So I pressed in for months in prayer and constantly going before the Lord asking for healing, and on the 13th of November 2004, I received my healing! I can truly say that at that moment my vision was no longer blurry, it was the most amazing experience to realise that my vision had been blurry for so many years! Now the pictures were clear and the colours were brighter! I had joy in my heart and for the first time in so many years, I no longer had these negative reasonings in my mind all the time, and about everything! I was free! G_d set me free! You can read about my testimony here.
17 November 2004
I put in a day's leave from work as I wanted to fast and pray and come before the Lord about Isaiah 58 and to relate it to my own life, and how I should live before G_d. I spent that day asking for forgiveness for past sins and I remember sitting on my bed for most of that morning praying, listening, reading and meditating on scriptures.
Remember these, O Jacob, [Marilyn]
And Israel, for you are My servant; [Jeshurun]
I have formed you, you are My servant;
O Israel, you will not be forgotten by Me!
I have blotted out, like a thick cloud, your transgressions,
And like a cloud, your sins.
Return to Me, for I have redeemed you.
Sing, O heavens for the Lord has done it!
Shout, you lower parts of the earth;
Break forth into singing, you mountains,
O forest, and every tree in it!
For the Lord has redeemed Jacob,
and glorified Himself in Israel.
I was so happy because I was healed from depression and the above scripture was so fitting and meaningful at the time! I also believed that G_d has forgiven me all my sins by telling me that He has blotted out my sins and transgressions like a thick cloud, and He has redeemed me!
"And my sin is always before me"
"And your righteousness shall go before you"
"The bones that you have broken may rejoice"
"And strengthen your bones"
"Blot out my transgressions"
"I have blotted out like a thick cloud, your transgressions"
"And cleanse me from my sin"
"And like a cloud your sins"
Psalm 51: 12
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation"
"Whoever offers praise glorifies Me, and to him who orders his conduct aright, I will show the salvation of G_d"
Only G_d can by His Holy Spirit give scriptures like these to speak to you when you don't even search for it or knew where it was written!
I received the following scripture from Anthia:
The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree,
He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
Those who are planted in the house of the Lord
shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bear fruit in old age;
The shall be fresh and flourishing
To declare that the Lord is upright.
He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.
12 January 2005
Much of the scriptures I found and was led to were about righteousness. I knew G_d wanted me to understand that what He requires from us is to live in righteousness before Him.
You know who you are in Christ.
Live in your right standing with G_d.
The Upright one
Upright, like a palm tree
Mercy and truth have met together;
Righteousness and peace have kissed.
Truth shall spring forth out of the earth, and righteousness shall look down from heaven.
2 Corinthians 6:7
By the armour of righteousness on the right hand and on the left
And your righteousness shall go before you.
The work of righteousness shall be peace,
and the effects of righteousness, quietness and assurance forever.
As for me, I will see your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in your likeness.
Righteousness will go before him,
and shall make his footsteps our pathway.
Put on your robe of righteousness!
Put on your shoes of peace!
Tighten the belt of truth!
Branch of Righteousness = Jesus